


Control

by embulance



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Attack of the Plot Bunnies tbh, Gen, Not Canon Compliant, POV Alternating, Tadashi Lives, Time Skips, Timeline What Timeline, honestly idk if this will have a happy ending, mind control sort of but not really, mostly i just made this to satisfy my need to hurt someone, this is an alive tadashi au but i promise its actually different, violence but not really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-09 06:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4337456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/embulance/pseuds/embulance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiro had expected many things. This was not one of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> tbh this is just to satisfy my need for angst and I like to hurt my faves. Also tried to do a twist on the whole Tadashi lives and is yokai thing. I don't think I've seen it this way before (but if you have let me know because I fucking love angst)

"I'm sorry, Hiro," Tadashi calls out; his body twitches as he fights for control that he cannot find. "I'm so sorry..."

His limbs jerk to life under the control of the microbots, and he is swooping forward on a dark wave, barreling towards Hiro and his friends.

Hiro seems frozen, not moving while his friends all dart away from his attack. Baymax thankfully moves the boy, while informing him that an impact at that speed would be detrimental to his health.

"Please, go," Tadashi screams, tears streaming down his face. "I can't-- I can't control myself; I don't want to hurt you! Please, please leave."

"I can't leave without you! I already lost you once," Hiro responds, hands clenched in fists as Wasabi tries to encourage him to go. He is crying as well; Tadashi wonders if it's because he's a monster now, scarred and covered in microbots.

"Hiro, we can't do anything right now; he can't come willingly..." Wasabi tries to convince the boy, even as he dodges . "It would be best to come back later, with a plan..."

"No, I can't do that... I can't lose him again..." Hiro takes on a wild, desperate look. "Baymax, get Tadashi. Keep him still."

Tadashi tries to shake his head. "No, Hiro," Tadashi cries out, dodging Baymax and using the microbots to knock the robot to the ground. "Go, find Callaghan if you must insist on this. If that's what you need to leave me behind right now, then go find him. But go. Please, I don't want to hurt you."

Even as he says this, he swipes at Hiro. Gogo runs in front of him, cutting through the microbots with her mag-lev disks.

"That's it; I'm taking charge," she snarls. "Baymax, Wasabi, take Hiro and go. Honey Lemon, block the door behind us. Fred, call Heathcliff and let him know we're going back. Tadashi, we'll save you. I promise."

Tadashi tries to smile at her as she dashes out the door but he can't. He doesn't believe in happy endings anymore. There's no hope for him now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In that moment Callaghan wakes and sees Tadashi, poised with hands outstretched for his master’s neck-- sometimes Tadashi wants to save Callaghan. Then he thinks of his brother and his friends who were surely tinged gray with death and that desire is gone, gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is gonna time-skip like no other tbh and i cannot guarantee that each chapter will connect right now but eventually it will. also in case you haven't realized it yet, this is gonna be pretty much nothing but angst. and i still haven't decided if it's gonna have a happy ending or not. anyways, yeah, i decided to continue this after several months. haha, whoops?

Tadashi remembered chasing his brother and his friends quite clearly, the way he had chased them all over San Fransokyo and tried to kill them without hesitation, because he had no control, none at all. He remembers seeing Baymax, decked out in what was clearly his first set of armor and being relieved because he’d hoped that Hiro had given him skills that would protect him from Tadashi, because Tadashi was a risk now, because Tadashi could no longer protect Hiro, because Tadashi is a monster that will hurt and kill Hiro with no hesitation if given the chance because Tadashi has no control.

Tadashi is Yokai. Tadashi is a _monster._

He throws things and if not for Baymax’s quick movements, Hiro and his friends would be dead.

As Tadashi swoops down upon them like an avenging _~~dark~~_ angel, he prays to a god he no longer believes in that Baymax will protect them from this.

And then Wasabi’s little car is in the ocean, and Baymax did not manage to protect them from Tadashi and Tadashi cries and sobs and _screams_ at his master, wants to tear Callaghan to _shreds_ because _look what you’ve done to me look at me i am broken and i am a monster and you made me kill my brother made me kill my friends made me kill the people that are important to me and ruined me and ruined them all for petty revenge and i think i can understand why you’d want to destroy krei after what he did to your daughter but i can’t destroy you because you **ruined** me_.

Tadashi thinks these horrible things and Tadashi hates himself because he doesn’t want to feel like this.

Tadashi _wants_ to forgive Callaghan and Tadashi _wants_ to forgive himself.

But Tadashi is broken and Tadashi doesn’t know how to forgive so he simmers in anger and hate and disgust.

But somehow underneath all that, there is still love.

Love for the brother and friends he destroyed. Love for the aunt he left behind. Love for robotics and love for Baymax and love for people and even love for Callaghan, who, despite breaking Tadashi, is truly not evil himself—just broken and hurt and damaged.

Sometimes Tadashi wants to save Callaghan.

Then he thinks of his brother and his friends who were surely tinged gray with death and that desire is gone, _gone_.

And yet, when Callaghan sleeps and Tadashi thinks he could get enough control to destroy his master, he sees his brother’s face, and wonders if Hiro could forgive him and he hesitates; he hesitates and in that moment Callaghan wakes and sees Tadashi, poised with hands outstretched for his master’s neck and the pain that consumes the dark-haired man is enough to bring him to his knees, gasping in desperation and clawing at his face as he tries to make it _stop_ and he can’t and oh god _please make it stop_ and he _screams_ and then it stops and he is falling like a puppet whose strings have been cut, curling in on himself and sobbing.

Callaghan fixes the control issue the next day and when he sleeps that night, Tadashi sits in the corner, cursing himself for destroying his only hope at escape—not that he deserves to be free, after what he did to Hiro and his friends, but he still longs to be free, to escape this hell, to apologize to everyone for what he’s done but he doesn’t deserve anything and he sits at night and thinks dark thoughts and hates Callaghan but more than anything hates himself.

He doesn’t sleep.

He doesn’t deserve it.

So he drowns in these thoughts and drowns in hate and most of all, drowns in love for the family he’s _destroyed._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're going to get him back. So why does it feel like the end of the world?

Hiro screams and kicks and flails at Wasabi, trying to squirm free of the older man’s grasp but he has no effect on Wasabi; the older man is taller and bigger and stronger and Hiro can’t get away.

“We can’t leave him, Wasabi,” he tries to argue. “Please, don’t leave him.”

Wasabi’s eyes slip closed for a moment and he sucks in a deep breath as he opens his mouth to answer, only to be interrupted by Gogo.

“We have to, Hiro,” she says softly from where she has glided up next to the pair. “Right now, we can’t take him away; he can’t fight the microbots. He’d hurt you or me or himself or someone else. And he’d hate himself for it. Do you want that for him? Do you really want to spend the rest of your lives trying to force him not to hurt people? Do you think Tadashi could thank you for that, Hiro? Knowing that self-sacrificing idiot, he probably already hates himself for the things he’s done. Do you want to see that? Hiro, please try to be rational. We need to think of a solution, not try to force Tadashi to fight something he can’t.”

Hiro nods, choking back tears. He doesn’t want to cry; he barely cried when he thought Tadashi was dead and now that he’s not all he wants to do is cry and it’s ridiculous. His brother isn’t gone; they’re going to get him back.

So why does it feel like the end of the world?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tadashi was all that was left. Tadashi was all that would ever be.   
> And Tadashi could never forgive himself for that.

****Tadashi remembers when he was young—long ago, it was just Tadashi and Hiro, Hiro and Tadashi, them against the world.

When the other kids teased Tadashi about his nose or ears, they’d find rockets attached to their chairs when they activated at the most humiliating moment possible—or if Hiro felt particularly vindictive (read: most of the time)—at the most painful moment possible.

When the other kids had broken Hiro’s things or attacked Hiro or called him names, they’d quickly found that he had a bigger, stronger brother who’d had several years of karate classes under his belt and knew exactly how to use those lessons.

It had been Tadashi and Hiro, Hiro and Tadashi.

Once Tadashi had feared that perhaps he’d spent too much time with Hiro, that he was hurting more than he was helping. Now all Tadashi wanted was to go back to spending too much time with Hiro. If he could go home again and have things go back to the way they’d been before—or at least, as close to before as they could be with Tadashi being the monster that he’d become—oh, Tadashi would never let Hiro go.

Hiro might even learn to hate him, the way he should after all that Tadashi’s done.

But now that could never be.

Hiro, along with all Tadashi’s friends, lay at the bottom of the ocean, gone _gone **gone**_ , and Tadashi was all that was left.

Tadashi was all that was left…

He just wanted it to stop. He didn’t want to be the last one. But that, like everything else, was out of Tadashi’s control.

Tadashi was all that was left. Tadashi was all that would ever be.

And Tadashi could never forgive himself for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoopsie, didn't mean to take so long to write another. good news is that I've already got the chapter after this written. I'll post it in a day or two cause it's one am right now so--


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s not over. Tadashi is here.

Gogo and Wasabi manage to convince Hiro to let Baymax take him back to the café, and once in the safety and privacy of the garage, Hiro’s tugging off his armor and Baymax’s armor and then he sits back and everything hits him all at once and he’s sobbing.

“It’s like he’s gone, Baymax,” he admits, as the robot hugs him and awkwardly pats his hair. “It’s like he’s gone. I know he’s not, but he’s never going to be the same… did you see him? He’s been hurt so badly… why Tadashi? He’s a good person… he didn’t—didn’t deserve this.”

“Tadashi is here,” Baymax says.

“Why do you keep saying that?” Hiro demands, voice rough with frustration. “He’s not here, he’s off on that island being forced to be a criminal against his will—“

“Tadashi is here,” Baymax insists, and then Hiro hears his brother’s voice, warm with affection, the way it tended to be when he was happy, and Hiro looks down and sees his brother smiling on Baymax’s screen and he smiles, wiping tears away as he watches his brother go through test after test after test, never giving up where so many others would and on the last test when Baymax works, Hiro thinks that it’s over and that Baymax has nothing more to show him, but he’s wrong.

The next video is of Yokai swooping down on Hiro as he shoves Baymax desperately towards the exit and then he hears what he did not before—Baymax’s recordings catch things Hiro couldn’t—and he hears Tadashi murmuring to himself in horror—“ _nononononono, not hiro, no—“_

Yokai swooping down on them and knocking them into the ocean and the beginnings of the sob of a broken man—

Yokai battling them at the island and the muted mumblings—“ _please don’t make me do this please i can’t not hiro not wasabi and gogo and fred and honey please_ —”

Tadashi as Wasabi ushers him and Baymax away, tears streaming freely down his scarred face as he throws something heavy at them.

Hiro stares at the blank screen in shock for a moment and then he’s clinging to the robot in front of him, practically wailing as he realizes that his brother _is_ gone but he’s still here, still his brother, still Tadashi and despite everything that’s happened to Tadashi, all the man seems concerned with is Hiro and Hiro wails for all his brother has lost and all that Hiro has lost.

And then he smiles for all that has been saved.

It’s not over.

Tadashi is here.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Never speak her name again. You hear me, Hamada? Never again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and at last, the plot moves forward ;) remember this scene-- it'll be important later

"I can't do this-- please don't make me do this anymore," Tadashi pleads.

Tadashi is strong; Tadashi doesn't show a vulnerable side of himself often, but in this moment, he is stripped bare as he kneels in front of Callaghan, head lowered to the floor and tears falling freely. 

"Please... that's my brother-- you wouldn't be able to harm Abigai--"

Pain consumes him suddenly, and Tadashi is screaming and clawing at the ground, clawing at his arms and his face and anywhere he can reach as though he can scratch the pain away, body twisting in agony. It could have been minutes-- hours, even, or it could have been just a few seconds but just as suddenly as the pain washed over him, it is gone, leaving Tadashi twitching for a moment before he curls in on himself with a sob, and whether he is sobbing for Hiro or himself is unclear. 

"Never speak her name again," Callaghan whispers, grabbing Tadashi by his hair to jerk him up to eye level as he crouches down. "You hear me, Hamada?"

Tadashi lets out another sob.

"Never again," Callaghan repeats, and this time Tadashi nods frantically-- anything to keep the pain away; he can't do that again so soon, please--

Callaghan drops him and leaves the room without a glance back, leaving Tadashi on the ground. 

The only sound in the room once the door clicks shut is Tadashi's sobs and ragged breathing-- tomorrow, he'll be expected to kill his brother if he comes to stop him again. That knowledge hurts more than the all consuming pain that Callaghan inflicts. 

Not for the first time, Tadashi lets the despair consume him. After all, there is no hope for him now-- and if Hiro arrives tomorrow (and Tadashi knows he will), then there will be no hope for him, either.

There's nothing good left.


End file.
